Tips Ville: April 2014

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Anyone Can Be Romantic With These 29 Tips

Romance: a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? Sadly, most of us have a tendency to get too comfortable and complacent in our relationships, turning what used to be fresh and exciting into a VCR rewind that becomes boring and monotonous.
A person can only do the same thing so many times before they get bored, so going on the same dates over and over again probably isn’t the best way to keep your love life exciting or mysterious. The good news? Anyone can be romantic. Apply these 30 tips if you’d like to make your partner say, “WOW!”

Your relationship is only as good as you make it. For a happy and successful relationship, apply these nine ways to enhance love and intimacy today.

1. Be thankful for all things, big and small.

It is easy to forget about the little things that make your relationship special as the months and years go by. If your partner is thoughtful enough to surprise you with a hot cup of coffee on every cold winter morning, express your gratitude as if it were the first time they ever did it, even if it is the hundredth time.

When you think about love, you probably picture couples holding hands or driving off into the sunset together. You might picture yourself falling in love with the one special person of your dreams. You might even have a list of things your perfect mate should embody. The thing is, there are many biological factors that go into “falling in love.” Love is overly romanticized in today’s culture, so you probably don’t know these scientific facts about love.
Falling in love is exciting. Colors seem brighter. Obstacles seem to vanish. The whole world is a more beautiful place because of our newfound lover. Although this may seem true at the moment, some of those strong feelings are occurring due to chemicals released in the brain. Although the science behind love isn’t extremely romantic, it is quite fascinating to realize the complexity of our bodies.

It’s about time you stop putting yourself down! Each and every one of us was put on this earth to impart our wisdom to the world. We have so much to teach everyone we meet, directly and indirectly. You have value and you are valued.
What are 10 things that people love about you? We are pretty sure the following make it on to the list:

1. Your Courage

Think of all the hardships you’ve been through. How else do you think you got through the tough times? It certainly wasn’t because you got scared and buried your head in the sand.
And yes, it certainly wasn’t fun to, say, go through unemployment or even a family loss, but think of how others looked up to you when you braved the stormy seas. Whether you realize it or not, you probably encouraged many others to become more courageous, just like you.
Being courageous also means taking risks. Think that what you’ve done so far in life isn’t risky? Recall those times when you hopped on a plane to go on vacation to Thailand or other places where English isn’t the first language. Many people would be terrified to do something like that.

8 Ways to Wreck a Marriage
1. Stop communicating with your spouse.
Communication does for a marriage what breathing does for lungs. Communication is the the lifeline of any relationship, so if you stop communicating with your spouse, you’re choosing to starve your marriage of one of its most basic needs.

Love. It makes the world go ‘round, right? Well, at least that’s the how the saying goes. But is it true? It should be, but so many people confuse love with things like jealousy or possessiveness. True love isn’t either of those things. But these 17 things are. So here are the lessons that real love teaches us:

1. Love means letting go of expectations.

Sure, we all want people to behave the way we want them to. We want them to be more affectionate. Or more outgoing. Or smarter. Or more ambitious. All of these things are expectations. Expectations are just your requirements for “acceptability” of loving someone. But true love has no expectations. It simply loves “as is.”

After a long day at work, it’s too easy to come home and plop down in front of the television and space out. Don’t forget about your relationship, though, and don’t let your relationship get stale! These tips will help you feel love even if you’re worn out from a long day. You’ll establish a deeper connection in your relationship in no time flat!

“Love… What is love? Love is to love someone for who they are, who they were, and who they will be.” Chris Moore
Today, it seems, we have an incredible amount of expectation of one another. The idea of unconditional love seems to have fallen by the wayside, as more and more of us want love, but are ill-prepared to give or even receive it.
To love someone under any circumstance is a true test of unconditional loving, and although it may seem simple, it is probably one of the toughest attributes to possess. This kind of love requires an unconditional love of yourself first, so you can have the strength of heart and mind to give the same to another human being. This is where we fall down. Within our society there seems to be so much pressure to be perfect that to love ourselves has become a pretty hard task to achieve, but it is the key to total, unconditional love of all others.
If you’ve never received unconditional love it can become hard to then give it out; however, below are seven ways you can practice how to love in this way and truly change your life.

“I love myself.” That sounds a bit silly (and I doubt anyone would ever say it out loud), but self-love isn’t reserved for the egomaniacs of the world. Finding the confidence to succeed (or even the courage to start) is very difficult if you don’t love yourself. If you’re ready to swoon your hot self, keep on reading.

1. Stop Beating Yourself Up

Would you say the things you think about yourself to another person? If not, you owe yourself an apology. How could you love a person who believes such nasty things about you? Even if you did mess up, get over it. Big goof that’s mostly irrelevant? Laugh at it. Serious mistake that had repercussions? Learn from it. The important thing is to drop your baggage and move on.

Highly confident people believe in their ability to achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else put their faith in you? To walk with swagger and improve your self-confidence, watch out for these fifteen things highly confident people don’t do

1. They don’t make excuses.

Highly confident people take ownership of their thoughts and actions. They don’t blame the traffic for being tardy at work; they were late. They don’t excuse their short-comings with excuses like “I don’t have the time” or “I’m just not good enough”; they make the time and they keep on improving until they are good enough.

Cloud computing is a good way for companies to manage their data storage and other IT needs, as it offers versatility at a fairly reasonable price. All the work required to effectively run a cloud-based network and manage data can be outsourced, enabling you to focus on more important things. Small businesses, business ventures in their early stages and even up-and-coming companies can benefit from having the convenience of cloud computing at their disposal. It can be a great way to cut costs and save a lot of time that can be better spent, but you need to define your specific needs and look for the right cloud services that will benefit your business the most. Let’s look at some important things you need to consider when looking for these types of services.

The Little Things That Matter In Every Relationship

In this self-centered world, it’s hard to keep a romantic relationship going strong. Break-ups happen often for no reason at all, or a reason that could have been overcome if only there was a will to do so. Sometimes, it’s the small things that keeps a couple together for a long time. Here are 10 little things that matter in every relationship.

Say it!

We mean the “I love you” sentence. If you feel it, say it. Take your significant other by the hands, look them deep into their eyes, and say it. A smile is sure to appear on their face. Three little words that can light up both your days and remind them of how much they are loved.

Having a relationship might one of the hardest things there is. This is even more difficult if you’re in your 20s. Couples still have a long list of mistakes they must go through before they learn key lessons to getting and maintaining a great relationship.
Here are some things you should keep in mind if you plan on having a relationship in your 20s.

1. Make Time for a “Date Night”

Young couples are constantly going out, spending time with friends, working, or going to school. In order to show one another how much you care, it’s a very good idea to plan a date night, even if it’s just once a month.
Take turns picking the restaurant, or even prepare a romantic dinner at home. Make sure your cellphone is off and you’re as mindful as possible.

The excitement that stems from a new relationship can make you feel on top of the world. As the newness wears off, the relationship can feel like it’s growing stale. You aren’t doomed to remain in a dull and boring relationship, however. There are some steps you can take to keep a mature relationship fresh and exciting.

1. Keep the Element of Surprise Alive

Surprise your partner from time to time in a variety of ways. Arrive home with a small gift, cook your partner’s favorite meal or book a surprise weekend getaway. These types of surprises will keep the excitement alive and prevent you from getting stuck in a relationship rut.

What comes to mind when you think about surviving a long-distance relationship? Do you experience negative or positive emotions? Whether you have been in a long-distance relationship for a while, or recently started a long-distance relationship, it’s important for the both of you to be on the same page.
Being in a long-distance relationship is a challenge, but definitely worthwhile if you are committed to developing your relationship. A long-distance relationship can either bring the two of you closer together, or pull you further apart. I want to share with you the top 5 precedents that my husband and I used while we were in a long-distance relationship. I highly suggest that you share this article with your partner. There will be a “Take Action” exercise at the end of each precedent that I encourage the both of you to implement. This article is not really about just “surviving” a long-distance relationship, it’s about developing and growing your long-distance relationship.

Precedent #1: Be Committed

Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken.
Nobody says it is going to be easy — the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times. However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship.
Long distance relationship may be tough but it has its own surprises too. To keep your love alive and strong, here are the 18 tips to make your long distance relationship work:

1. Have a goal in mind.

“What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves. The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down.
So make a plan with each other. Do up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal. It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

15 Ways To Have the Best Relationship of Your Life

We have all grown up watching movies where women are princesses, men are their knights in shining armor, and perfect couples ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. But no one actually teaches us the things we need to do to have our “happily ever after.” So that’s where I come in. Here are 15 things you can do if you want to have the best relationship of your life.

1. Try to talk with your partner about how you impact each other.

No one is a mind reader. And some people aren’t very good at knowing how their behavior affects other people. So you need to tell each other. Not only the negative impacts, but the positive as well. If you want your partner to change something, gently ask without criticism. If you think your partner is awesome, tell them. Thank them. Keep the lines open.

We all seek relationship advice at one point or another. Whether we are entering a new relationship or trying to salvage an old one, it’s a safe bet that we basically have no idea what we’re doing. Love is not something that is planned, so most of the time, we just have to go along with it and figure things out for ourselves. Every relationship is different, and every problem calls for a different solution. That being said, there are a bunch of relationship truths that are universal.

1. Relationships aren’t simple.

They take work, time, and effort. They involve a heavy amount of compromise. You need to be like a doctor and have patience.
That was a joke. You also need to have a sense of humor.

2. There is no use “fixing” what isn’t broken.

Just because something isn’t simple doesn’t mean it’s not good. In order to succeed in life and in the business world, you must work hard and persevere. You aren’t going to quit your job just because you actually need to try. Similarly, you shouldn’t quit on a relationship just because it’s not all flowers and rainbows.
Also, there is nothing wrong with being content. Allow yourself to be happy and don’t be afraid of being comfortable. If there isn’t a problem with the relationship, then don’t go looking for problems.

It’s quite rare that a romantic relationship is easy or simple, especially as time goes on. There are often weird, arguably unhealthy habits that we develop, because we’re human and maybe that’s just something that we do. But you can fix them. Here are Mark Manson’s 6 relationship habits that are actually toxic and how to change them for the better:
There’s no class in high school on how to not be a bad boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be.
But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines.
Yes, it’s trial-and-error from the get-go. And if you’re like most people, it’s been mostly error.

Lindsey Autumn. "Look Like Love." May 30, 2012. Flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/lindseybuchmannphotography/

How you view yourself can make or break you. If you want success, watch out for these 15 things not to say about yourself.

1. “I wish I didn’t have such bad luck.”

The more opportunities you pursue, the better your “luck” will get. If you want something, go get it. Success comes from hustle (not chance).

2. “It’s too late for me, so why bother?”

It is never too late to change your life. Even the most damaged of us can rise from the ashes to take control of our life. See your age as an asset (not a liability). With years comes experience, and with experience comes knowledge.

30 Simple Things You Don't Realize You Do That Impress Everyone Around You

One the biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to impress someone is that they assume people only pay attention to the important or “big” things they do. But the reality is that the little things are what matter most. It’s the little things we do or don’t do every day that shape us in to who we are. The little things determine how we respond when big things come in to our lives.
The kind of image you present to the world is determined by your actions, comments, attitude, behavior and even appearance. These things can be noticed within the first few seconds of meeting someone. So, how do you let people know who you really are? How do you impress everyone around you without big gestures or a lot of time? These 30 things might be simple, but they have a big impact. Their effects are lasting. People will remember the little things you do and that can make the difference you’re looking for.

1. Dress the part

Your appearance is the thing people see first. They look at your clothes, hair, shoes, etc. They make assumptions about you before you even open your mouth. If you want to impress people, dress for the occasion. Take time to get ready in the morning.

8 Myths That Could Kill Your Relationship

1. Myth: A good relationship means that you don't have to work at it.
Fact: "The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work," said Lisa Blum, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist in Pasadena and Los Angeles, who specializes in emotionally focused therapy with couples. She believes that our culture, education system and parenting styles don't prepare us for the fact that even good relationships take effort.
She likened a healthy relationship to a good garden. "It's a beautiful thing but you wouldn't expect it to thrive without a whole lot of labor and TLC."
But how do you know if you're working too hard on a relationship? One sign, according to Blum, is if you're feeling unhappy more than you're happy. In other words, are you spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat than enjoying it?
This unhappiness becomes less of a rough patch, and more like the "normal state of affairs," she said.
Another bad sign is if you're trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don't see the same level of effort on your partner's part. "There has to be some sense of 'we're trying really hard, both making changes and that's making a difference.'"
On the flip side, if both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least some of the time, then that's a good sign, Blum said.

Often when we were up against a time constraint that seemed impossible to overcome, my doctoral advisor would say, “If someone put a gun to our heads, could we get this done?” The answer wasn’t always yes, but it was surprising to me how that which seemed impossible was indeed possible if we directed all of our attention, motivation, and ability to the task—and nothing else.

I always liked the “gun” question because I could even use it on myself to separate fungible constraints from truly immutable ones, revealing what was actually possible if I decided that the job at hand was in fact the most important in the world.
The “gun” question can be adapted for other purposes as well. Maybe the most fundamental purpose for it that I have found is to use it to reveal when I have a choice. This version of the question is as follows: “If someone put a gun to my head, could I do X?”
Notice that this version of the gun question does not focus on whether something could be completed in time, but instead it focuses on whether or not something is possible at all. If my answer is “yes,” then I know I have a choice. If the answer is “no,” then I know I don’t.

There has been considerable research on how nonverbal cues, particularly those coming from the eyes, affects our behavior.
Here are 5 interesting results:
1. Eye-to-Eye Contact Causes Arousal.
Staring directly into someone’s eyes causes an arousal reaction. How that arousal is interpreted, however, depends on the parties involved and the circumstances. Being stared at by a stranger who appears large or ominous can be seen as a threat and elicit a fear response. This is common in social animals. A direct stare from a human to a dog or an ape can be interpreted as a threat from the large (and strange) human. However, the gaze of a potential sexual partner causes arousal that can be interpreted positively—as a sexual invitation.

7 Signs You May Be Headed for a Breakup

Couples counseling has helped many relationships come back from the brink. And even if you and your partner do decide to split, couples counseling can help you have a "healthier" breakup.
Following are 7 signs that your relationship may be in serious trouble and that help may be beneficial. There are always exceptions, though, and certainly, if there is any type of abuse in your relationship, seek help immediately:
1. You're spending more and more time apart.
Having separate interests is a good thing. Using separate interests as an excuse to get away from your partner is not. When your relationship is struggling, you look for reasons not to come home, or you drive home filled with dread. This is not a healthy way to live.
2. Your beliefs have become vastly different.
People change. Sometimes they change to the point where one person's beliefs or ideals become the opposite of his or her partner's. Differences in interests, hobbies, or movies aren't that big a deal, as long as you still have common beliefs and understandings. But sometimes people change to the point where one partner has a belief system that is simply incompatible with, or deplorable to, the other partner.